Dear Housebound Families,
I am on day five of being at home with my children. We ducked out of school early when my oldest child started coughing. After our first day home, emails came rolling in: volleyball cancelled, basketball at the YMCA cancelled, surfing cancelled, school closed, birthday party cancelled, team party postponed. Then came our decision to cancel our spring break road trip to Colorado, one of our favorite trips of the year. In a matter of 48 hours, our children’s schedules cleared. My husband and I have the privilege of being able to work from home. While my work as a clinical psychologist has become greatly impacted, I can still provide my services to my clients virtually. With both of us trying to continue working with our children at home, my husband and I knew that we had to make this time period together as a family, a success.
What I know about my children is that too much free time is not good for them. They become ships without anchors and knock against us and each other trying to ground themselves. On a family hike this weekend, I brought up the idea with my children to think of themselves as if they are a pie made up of different pieces. (I had pie on my brain because my birthday is on Saturday and I quarantine-shopped for frozen fruit to make myself a pie). I told my children, imagine that each piece of your pie is necessary to make you feel happy during this crazy time (and maybe throughout your life).
We brainstormed what our pie pieces might be:
Physical activity
Creativity and crafting
Music
Connection with friends via email and video chats and good old fashioned phone calls
Connecting with our older family members who are more isolated and vulnerable
Passion project
Learn something new, like a foreign language on Duolingo
Schoolwork
Free time
Something that makes you laugh or feel happy
30 minutes of television (something we used to do only on weekends)
Cooking
Chores
My kids came up with things to do in each category. Physical activity for my youngest appeared on his schedule multiple times a day, whereas my middle child needs to be pushed to be active. My son has shooting hoops, skateboarding on the patio, hiking and when these rains stop - surfing. My daughter has dancing, yoga, hiking, jumping on the trampoline and playing volleyball. My kids spent an entire day creating lists of what to do in each category and designing creative schedules on the computer or by free hand. They all decided that they wanted to research something that they were interested in, write a report on it and create a presentation on their topic. My oldest wants to film and edit ted-talk like videos of their presentations.
My children essentially crafted plans for their ideal days, with some help in attending to all of the parts of themselves that are necessary for them to feel good. Some people are excited to be home to not have to adhere to a schedule and to binge watch tv, but try to remember what you feel like after a day of being horizontal in front of a screen. Pretty depressed right? I think we all should set the intention to create our ideal days with self-care woven into as many moments as possible. This is a scary time, we are in uncharted waters and scheduling ourselves to attend to our pies will be the anchor that holds us steady in this storm.
Be well my community,
Brooke