The Coming Storm
Dear Santa Barbara Families,
I wanted to reach out to my community as we digest the news of the coming storm to offer a few words of support as we move forward. I imagine some of you are ranging in response to the coming storm from: “everyone’s overreacting, it’s only an inch”, to mildly concerned, to outright fear about what the next few days might bring. This may be our new norm, so how do we want to embark on it?
One thing that is important to remember is that children, when compromised, borrow the nervous system of their primary caregiver. They will look to us to see how to handle stress; they will lean on our stability, our understanding, our courage, our faith and even our humor (if we can muster it). It is imperative that we take good care of ourselves to manage our anxiety so that we show our children how to manage theirs.
How do you manage anxiety? Reach inward. How have you successfully coped in the past? You might use distraction: a good book, a Netflix binge, knitting, cleaning out your garage, or gathering with friends. You might use exercise. You’ve heard me say this already: sweat it out, pee it out, cry it out. You might want to reach out to your social network or social media network. You could turn to dance, music, art, or writing. You could access your faith. Whatever it might be, make sure you check in with yourself that it’s working. If not, try something new. There are many stress relievers out there.
Our children often pick up on more than we are aware of, so be mindful of the things you say and do around them in the coming days. If you need to call a friend to express your worry, try to move to another room. If you are feeling overwhelmed with fear when the rain starts: tell yourself something comforting. “I am safe. My family is safe. Our earth needs rain.” Help your kids come up with mantras of their own. Remind yourself and your children, we have learned from January 9th. We will leave our home if we feel unsafe.
You have the arms that cradle them to sleep. You have the song that sooths them in the night. You have the shoulders that they ride on. Validate their fears and then use the skills that you already have to calm them and yourself.
Wishing you all the best as we practice and master our resiliency through these coming storms.